Karuppan - Concluding part

Conclusion


I had a tough time going to sleep and atlast slept in the wee hours of morning.Appa had not returned home the whole night.When I got up, Rekha was already up and studying.Amma was stirred from the bed when I went to her room."Anu..get the milk packet from outside..otherwise the darn cat will drink it off", she said groggily.

My screams brought amma and Rekha running to the front gate. Karuppan was lying dead near the gate.Rigor mortis had set in and she was looking frozen.I knew she was old, but I never expected this.Sobs racked my body.Amma held me gently.Rekha held something in front of my face.Amma took it from her.It was a hypodermic syringe.She pointed at a place near the compound wall.

The same day we packed our things and left the house.We buried Karuppan in the backyard of our house before we left.The poor dog had managed to hold in place a dead marraige for almost 10 years.I have not seen appa since then.Its almost six months now.I am worried that I would bump into him someday.It worries me even more that I would hug him and start crying when I see him.

We never talk about Karuppan at home. Sometimes I would catch amma staring vacantly at space.I wonder what's going through her mind.I had never understood her.Sometimes I think I know what she is feeling, but that thread of thought doesn't exist long enough for me to grasp it.

I no longer dream about happy families , though I must admit that I feel more relaxed and happy in the new house.

I go to meditation classes, because amma feels it would help me feel better whetever that means.The Guruji at class says time heals all wounds and we should just flow with time .I wonder if it heals scars!!

I feel that some are to stay forever permanently.For now, I am just trying to flow with time...